If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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