And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
people are starting to question the shark bite story
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
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