my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
