Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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