He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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