Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
This is classic penis vs brain.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
