He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
