Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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