She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
