u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Success! We fucked roommates!
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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