so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
