The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
