she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
