You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
