I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
he wants to bone in the snuggie
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
