I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm bleeding and have questions
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
