I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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