Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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