i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
We are all done wearing pants today
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
