dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize