If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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