if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize