Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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