you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
