butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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