just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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