Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
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