i just had sex bonerless
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
