I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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