No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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