Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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