I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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