I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
