dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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