you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
