garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
