We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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