remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Are we still banned from the library?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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