I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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