Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
