idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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