i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
