...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
