You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
there is glitter all over my balls
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