He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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