You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
