grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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