you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
As shirtless as possible
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
