you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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