So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize