You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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