Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
