the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
