My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize