Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
