So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
