Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize