..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'm jealous of your bromance
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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