i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
