oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
