I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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